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Article
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TAKE
TIME TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES FOR YOUR SPECIAL DAY
By Richard Waddell
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After
all the shopping, comparing, consulting, reading,
interviewing and evaluating involved with a wedding, you
begin to remember the end result you’re after.
Basically, you want things to go smoothly. You want to make the right choices. You want to feel good about all the decisions you make
as your wedding day draws near.
The easiest and simplest way to do this – and
it is simple – is to inform yourself about each of
those areas where a choice is required. |
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| The key
watchword in doing this is time – be sure you give
yourself plenty of it, so you can be deliberate in your
choosing. If
you don’t, a lack of time will create pressure on your
schedule, causing you to rush a decision or not to feel
good about a choice made in haste. |
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| Take enough
time to discover what options you actually do have –
there may be more and better ones than you currently are
aware of. There
may be more choices of who to have make your wedding
cake than the one place you know about.
There may be a better videographer than the one
you saw at your friend’s wedding.
There may be a greater number of selections to
choose from for your wedding processional than the
“Masterpiece Theater Theme” , or that piece of music
commonly called “HERE COMES THE BRIDE” (which is, by
the way, actually the “Bridal Chorus” by Richard
Wagner) – you just may not presently know what your
options are! |
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| Your
procedure is in three parts.
First, make your plan.
Second, educate yourself.
Third, make your choices for which services or
products are important to you and which are the best
available to you. |
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| Along the
way you will be dealing in areas that have previously
been of minor importance in your day-to-day life.
The difference is that now several of these areas
are of real significance to you.
You need reliable information.
What makes one videographer better than another
one? How
can you tell? What’s the right amount of “bells and whistles” in
their finished product?
What’s too many?
These are all valued judgements, and you need
just a little help to make them wisely. |
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| If one of
your objectives is to have certain parts of the wedding
be different from most weddings, let the professional
cake baker, ceremony musician, gown designer, florist,
justice of the peace – or in whichever area you have
this desire – offer you their ideas on unusual or
atypical approaches that will still be appropriate, in
good taste and practical.
Every choice you make, by nature of you being a
unique individual, will result in a ceremony, a cocktail
hour, a dinner, a reception, unlike any ever before, and
by making informed choices that naturally reflect your
individuality in positive and significant ways, yours
will not be mistaken for anyone else’s special day. |
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| Here's an
example. I
once had a prospective bride who asked me if I could
play for her processional down the aisle – after the
flower girls, the maid of honor, the bridesmaids and the
ushers processed and the mothers have been seated
previously – the theme music from the ‘80s TV show
“Dynasty”. Well,
unfortunately I ended up not getting that job, but if I
had, I would have explained that even though it well may
be quite a beautiful piece of music – with the right
rhythm and general sound for a processional – the
strong identification it has to a fabulously successful
television show (whose leading lady isn’t exactly
everybody’s idea of a good role model for a sound
marriage) is the reason I would offer to choose
something else. |
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| Most likely
none of your choices will be that radical, but they may
require you to learn in greater depth about unfamiliar
subjects. In
this process you will be talking with people you never
previously knew – they may come to you referred by
friends or from an ad that caught your eye.
Before you call them, if you can, try to find out
just a few things about the kind of product or service
they offer, so that you can ask a direct question or
two. Don’t
try to learn what they are an expert at, just see if you
can get a very basic overview – and if yours is a
plain “cold call”,
don’t worry, just ask questions and listen
carefully to see that the professional patiently
explains his or her service or product. |
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| Your
questions can be very simple: (regarding the
church musicians), “will you play music before the
ceremony, while the guests are being seated?”
(re: the
videographer), “will you have a stationary video
camera aimed directly at the altar? Is that an extra fee?”
Or a very simple and direct question like “Why
is your [product or service] superior to another’s?”
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| The
professional should put you at ease during this process,
explaining things clearly and patiently. It is you who has the potential for that person’s business
to grow – therefore it is their job to give you as
many reasons as you need for hiring them.
Informing yourself in these various areas will
take a little time, so try to enjoy the process and the
people you work with.
Many professionals can frequently refer you to
other professionals – either in their field or in
other lines of work – and thus increase the potential
to get good information even faster. |
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| When
you are about to hire a professional, you should by now
feel at ease with them through your discussions and/or
consultations.
Read this next sentence very carefully:
If you don’t understand what they tell you –
in describing any aspect of their work, in terms of
their contract agreement with you, in the nature of what
your options and limitations are, in terms of what your
responsibility is – tell them so.
Just say, “I don’t understand, could you
please explain this part to me again?”
Remember that their job is to inform you of their
expertise in what they are offering to you.
If their explanation still doesn’t clear it up
for you, just ask again.
They should quite easily be able to do this.
If not, it isn’t because you don’t
understand, and you probably should not hire them.
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| If you say
“I know absolutely nothing about music,” and
you think that statement is really true, think again!
Isn’t it true that actually, like many people,
you know what you like…and don’t like?
That is the real bottom line in choosing music
(and the musicians who provide that music). If the basic sound of a group, an individual musician or a
specific piece of music doesn’t seem right, that’s
all you need to know. |
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| Whoever
wrote something that you like or dislike – Handel,
Bach Purcell, Mendelssohn – makes no real difference
to you. Just
remember: the more you know, the more precise will be all your
decisions. Case
in point: “The
Bridal Chorus”. Sometimes
it is a piece that some people really want, but they are
afraid it will sound corny or somehow too un-original.
My response is that it is the musician’s job to
play it beautifully and sincerely.
When this happens, absolutely nobody will think
anything other than “That is stunning!
How beautiful!”, and the proper emotions are
infused into the moment that will be unforgettable to
everyone who hears it! On the other hand, if the musician adopts the attitude that
this piece of music is trite, or hackneyed, or boring,
then they are not serious about what they are doing and
the impression they leave is often the very reason why
people learn to dislike certain pieces of music. |
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| Quality of
sound is often the single biggest determining factor
when selecting music and musicians.
A smooth, flowing, natural sound will be obvious,
even if you believe that you are not a good judge of
music. You
see, music is constantly in our lives:
radio, television, movies, CD’s, Organ & Brass,
churches, even in the dentist’s chair! Much of what you do know may be on a more subconscious level,
but a capable, professional musician can help explain
these things so that your response begins to sound like,
“Well I know what you mean, I just never said it quite
like that.” This
shows that you already did know! |
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| The
professional wedding musician should be able to clearly
explain to your satisfaction exactly what their job
means to you. You
should see and hear what their area or specialty is.
If this is unclear, just say so.
Regarding the ceremony, any number of instruments
work perfectly well – trumpet, flute, guitar, brass
quintet, harp, organ are typically used (not at the same
time!). Each
of these instruments makes an impression on the listener
and invokes an emotional reaction – this is the basis
for your liking one sound more than another, one style
more than another, one specific selection more or less
than another. Many people feel that “X” is the obvious right choice
(according to their impressions, based on their informed
value judgment). |
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| With the
key selections for your ceremony selected, reflect on
them – you should feel good about them, in just the
same way you feel good about your dress, your cake, your
photographer, and all the other areas you will be
exploring. |
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| In every
one of these areas, enjoy the process of discovery.
Notice which professionals take plenty of time to
get to know you and be of good service to you, helping
guide your decisions to choices that really are yours.
Your good word in referring a professional’s
service is a kind and generous show of support when you
feel it has been earned.
ENJOY! |
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